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Emotional Vulnerability & the Mirror Principle

I’m going to share some information about The Mirror Principle. This principle is a doorway into allowing yourself to become vulnerable to facilitate healing.


“What you see in others is a reflection of what you see in yourself.”


This can be extremely challenging for people to embrace. Often, we don’t want to see the mirror.

This principle states that if we are emotionally triggered when encountering or thinking about someone else’s unconstructive or undesirable behavior, then they are mirroring back to us that we have the very same behavior or quality.


Quick easy example. I have a girlfriend who I love dearly. But she often complains that nobody listens to her. And what I’ve found in our relationship is that she’s a terrible listener, and conversation typically revolves around her life. She rarely asks me about my life. So, I’ve learned that her perception that nobody listens to her is because she’s not open to listening. See how that works?


The good news is that you have more control than you think.


Look at a negative experience or thought or judgement as a reflection of what is happening in your inner world. Because the outer world reflects your inner world. In other words, your mirror will show you the changes that need to be made within. When you are feeling triggered, an opportunity arises to pause and reflect on what needs to be healed inside of you. The things that bother you the most about your partner, your friends, or your family are really things that you have inside of you. In these moments, you have the gift to take the time to transform the negative inner thoughts and feelings into healing opportunities. And then you can shift. And it’s important to remember not to change the reflection. We can only go within to change ourselves. And when we are healed, we will no longer be triggered by that reflection.


This is also a fantastic opportunity to do shadow work meditation. Shadow work is a practice of healing and self-growth, which means that it requires surrender and acceptance. Instead of attacking everything that you don't want to think, feel, or address, go into this process with an attitude of compassion for yourself and your experiences.


The Mirror Principle also states that if we are happy with someone else’s behavior, then they are mirroring back to us that we too have that wonderful, positive behavior. Celebrate that!




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